Mr. Barcalow's Breakdown

Once there was a man, and he was named Mr. Barcalow, to be exact,
And he prided himself on his tact,
And he said, One thing about an apple, it may have a worm in it,
and one thing about a chimney, it may have soot in it,
But one thing about my mouth, I never put my foot in it.

Whenever he entered a community
He ( Read more... )

LITTLE MISS MUFFET SAT ON A PROPHET AND QUITE RIGHT, TOO!I am sure that if anybody into the condition of humanity cares to probe ( Read more... )

IS THERE AN OCULIST IN THE HOUSE?How often I would that I were one of those homely philosophical old codgers ( Read more... )

LITTLE MISS MUFFET SAT ON A PROPHET AND QUITE RIGHT, TOO!I am sure that if anybody into the condition of humanity cares to probe ( Read more... )

ANY MILLENNIUMS TODAY, LADY?As I was wandering down the street ( Read more... )

The Strange Case of the Lovelorn Letter WriterDear Miss Dix, I am a young lady of Scandinavian origin, and I am in a quandary ( Read more... )

SONG BEFORE BREAKFAST

Hopeful each morning I arise
And splash the cobwebs from my eyes.
I brush my teeth and scrape my chin
And bravely at the mirror grin.

Sternly I force myself to say,
Huzza! Huzza! another day!
Oh happy me! oh lucky I!
Another chance with life to vie!

( Another golden opportunity/ To rise and shine in this community! )

A NECESSARY DIRGESometimes it's difficult, isn't it, not to grow grim and rancorous ( Read more... )

There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges ( Read more... )

Go hang yourself, you old M.D ( Read more... )